thehowe_v7.1

I'm thinking about making a sign. A big sign, that says in big block letters:

If these damn kids sitting across from me don't stop making out, I'm going to have to splash them with cold water or something. I mean come on, they're in the middle of the freaking media union!

I think What I really need is a cane, so I can swing it at them and yell "Damn kids!"

Last night before classes start. I'm putting off going to bed, because I know when I get up I'll have to go to class. I don't really want to go to class. We had our big beginning of year hall meeting today. Met my RA, seems like a fairly decent guy. He managed to keep annoying icebreaker games to a minimum, and told us straight up what to expect, both of which are big bonus points. On the other hand, he did say he's a real stickler for the rules, which kind of sucks. I understand, of course - its his ass if they're broken. I'd be the same way.

...Well, except I'd enjoy punishing people more. I'm a bastard like that.

Still, it would be nice if he could look the other way on a few things. Like propping the bathroom door open. I can understand why the rule is in place for the girls, but I don't think the guys are really going to care. I may have to call in some former MoJo cohorts I met last year. They developed keeping those doors open to a fine art. I won't name any names, but they had housekeeping stymied for weeks. It was great.

Behold: I am become Death, destroyer of worlds. Bow before me or be consumed; anger me at your peril.

Ah, Thanksgiving. That wonderful time of year when we get together with friends and family and cram turkey down our various orifices. Unfortunately, I don't have anything very amusing to write about Thanksgiving. I just got done spending five hours debugging my last programming assignment for the semester, and my roommate is being somewhat of a tool. You see, he's trying to go to bed after drinking a lot of caffeine, and he seems to be having some trouble restraining himself. So, I'm going to go do something evil. I'll deny I ever did it, and he'll never figure out what it was, but that's part of the fun.

Oh, and by the way, I apologize if this little tirade bored anybody. You see, my roommate and I constitute about 75% of the people that actually read these things, so I figure a few death threats and whatnot won't hurt anything. All in good fun, of course.

You ever have one of those days where you just wish you carried around a big, metal bat to bash people's skulls in with? Because today was definitely one of those days for me. Funny how I seem to be having more and more of those as my college career progresses.

Location: Somewhere near Amsterdam

This jerk in front of me has had his goddamn seat reclined all the way back for the entire flight and now I can't reach my shoes because of it. A couple swift head butts to the back of his seat should solve this.

Guess what? My 19th birthday is tomorrow (Friday), and you know what that means! If you don't get me a present, you're going to Hell! Ha ha, just kidding. You're already going to Hell anyways. You see, through a soul-sharing arrangement I have made with The Devil™ (brokered through the good people at VillainSupply.com - see bottom of page), ownership of the soul of every person who views this webpage (excluding me, of course) is signed over to the Lord of Darkness, buying me five years of unholy extended life per soul. Quite a good deal, really. Ah well, anyways, happy birthday to me, with many more to come!

Oh, and by the way, I know this kid named Tom Brenner. He's kinda strange. You see, he's one of those hippie, tree-hugging extremely liberal democrat types that automatically hates anything and everything republican. If you don't believe me, just look at this screenshot of a conversation I had with him over AOL instant messenger. Honestly, I didn't alter this image in any way whatsoever. Honestly.

Honestly.

Am I the only person in the world that regularly wishes he was a 10' tall, armored tool of destruction complete with impenetrable metal armor, razor sharp claws, 24' wingspan, and superhuman strength? I mean come on, you have to admit that that would be pretty darn cool.

So I was walking through campus tonight, and I see four or five people crouching on different areas of the sidewalk. Further inspection showed that they were writing the big chalk advertisements for some group or something. It fascinated me how they seemed so focused on making each and every letter perfect. Then I imagined the looks on their faces if I had a high-powered hose connected to a pressurized water pack, spraying away at their precious advertisements as soon as they finished writing them. Then I imagined the looks on their faces if the pressurized pack contained HCl. Man, that would be cool.